Tuesday, June 17, 2008

May I see your papers, Daddy?

When I got into work a link was awaiting me from a friend of mine.

A link to the Playmobil Police Checkpoint from amazon.com

I chuckled, certain that it was fake. I scrolled around the page and was impressed by how well it was faked. Then I realized it picked up my name because I was logged into Amazon. The site was real. The toy was real.

One of the reviews sums it up nicely;
This playset is one of the best purchases I have made for my three-year-old. In the past, when we have been stopped at roadblocks, or when during one of Daddy's arrests, he would start crying uncontrollably. Now, after playing with this for the past several months, he is perfectly docile.

As an adjunct to this product, I would also recommend that you purchase the Playmobil Armed Standoff Playset, Fisher-Price Little People Battering Ram, and the Nerf Tear-Gas Canister Deployment Gun.

Bill of Rights sold separately.


Another reviewer can't help but ask; "No taser?"

The internet has no shortage of nutters, especially certain corners of the internet. You'll hear them rail about X, Y, and Z, and chuckle softly to yourself. "Pure comedy." you mutter under your breath. But a day, week, month, or year later you pick up the paper and read X. "Huh," You say, fondly remembering the raving crazy, "I guess if you throw enough crap at the wall, some has to stick." Then a day, week, month, or year later you pick up the paper and read Y. "Hmmm." You wonder, remembering the slightly less crazy person from two days or two years ago, "Ok, I guess if X, then Y is possible... But Z is right out. There's no way Z could ever happen. Then for the next day, week, month, or year, you begin to think about Z, and what it would take to bring Z into reality. You question your beliefs, and review old items. You change the way you think about new events, and powers, and begin to see that Z could be possible.

Others pass by without a second look, with no alarm or hue and cry, as if they are blind, as if they don't understand what they see before their very eyes. We want to shake them, to grasp their heads and turn their faces, shouting, "LOOK! Do you see what this thing is? Do you see how it might be put to use? Do you know what can happen if this thing becomes fully assembled and activated?"

But I digress...

Familiarization with a militant police force, becoming accustomed to arbitrary searches, and making submission to both routine is one of those evil letters I see repeated by those "nutters."

Police checkpoints may have been determined to be legal, but that doesn't mean they pass the Jews In The Attic Test. Maybe I shouldn't worry because the checkpoints help police crack down on [INSERT POPULAR CAUSE HERE]. Don't think about what the device is being used for now; think about how it could be misused.

Perhaps a Playmobil Jack Booted Thugs set will be forthcoming. Why stop there? Maybe kids will soon be able to pretend they're some heavily armed JBTs, firing tear gas into a church, then burning it to the ground. Maybe they'll be able to send out a toy press release to toy reporters that says the people in the church were child molesters, so it's OK they accidentally burned the plastic men, women, and children alive. Then they'll get the toy court, and have it do nothing.

Of course, I suspect nothing sinister from Playmobil, but the simple fact that this was even an idea for a toy that children are meant to play with, is beyond comprehension.

The toy set has apparently been discontinued, but I bought one on ebay so I could remind myself.

Bah. Maybe I'm just sensitive. I've been reading a lot of Kevin's work..

UPDATE: oh yeah, THIS


Kevin said...

That's fucking disturbing.

Fletch said...

"But Daddy, if you've done nothing wrong, you've nothing to fear! You wouldn't wanna be an e'meny of the state!"

Anonymous said...

I'll be buying the ghillie suited sniper set for my family.