Wednesday, June 21, 2006

An unnerving decision

As I've gotten deeper into gun ownership, I've formulated a number of strong beliefs and opinions. I believe it is a citizen's patriotic duty to own guns. I had been very mindful of the whole gun-nut segment of the gun owner crowd, but as I learned more about ownership, the "gun-nut" classification of owner dissolved into "owner."

I was not concerned that I no longer recognized a gun-nut from a gun owner, as gun-nut is simply a derogatory term for gun owner; what I was concerned about was the possibility of my loved ones not yet making that realization, and fearing I'd succumbed to the depths of gun-nuttery. (that is an awesome word)

Specifically, my girlfriend (mostly fiance), and to a lesser extent, my Dad (though I'm turning him).

While I didn't think it very possible this would happen, the possibility of the issue escalating to an argument ending with "... It's either the guns or me!" was not one I wanted to even think about, because I was afraid of both of the answers.

I love my country, and respect and appreciate it for the opportunities it has given me and my family (especially since I'm half illegal immigrant). I knew that I needed to own guns. My country wanted me to own guns. And, by god, I needed to protect my loved ones. Gun ownership is non-negotiable.

I love my girlfriend, and aside from being a perfect match for me, we've grown even more in love with each other over the years. Before her I had some serious problems with depression, and always wondered what would happen to me if I ever lost her. She was non-negotiable.

A few nights ago I couldn't sleep, because I couldn't stop thinking about the unsettling possibility of having to choose. My girlfriend asked what the problem was, and after giving her fake excuses she finally got me to talk about what was really bothering me.

I told her about my new beliefs and opinions regarding gun ownership, and how strongly I felt about them, and how I was afraid that the future could make her slight aversion to guns worse, and possibly result in the arousal of the unsavory question.

To which she replied after a long pause, "I don't think you'll have to worry about that."

Man, I love her.

Yesterday she said that she wants to go to the range on Saturday. Not wanting to look a gift horse in the mouth, I held my tongue. She stood there and finally said, "Aren't you going to ask why?" I said that I was a little afraid to. She chuckled and said, "I want to get better."

Man, I love her.

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