Wednesday, June 28, 2006

People talk too much...

[Warning; Rant mode ON]

I thought what I'd do was...

Why on Earth do people feel the need to fill the silence with meaningless, and purposeless conversation?

Me walking by the guard coming into work:
Guard: "Wednesday's hump day!"
Me: *eyebrow raise, and nod*
Guard: "...Yup."

So, what was the point of that conversation? It's Wednesday? What did either of us gain from that exchange? Nothing. I wouldn't even mind it so much, if it didn't happen so many times a day. I can't even go to the head without a "How's it going?" from someone who has nothing to say to me. Every time someone asks me that question, I always reply the same way, without stopping; "Good, good!" You'd think they'd get tired of asking me the same question, if I'm obviously not going to stop and waste some time with them at the water cooler. Maybe I should put together a mix of non-sequiters with which to reply to idiotic questions.

"How's it going?"
"Dogs hate expired canned peaches."

Or perhaps some canned phrases from the random word generator...

"How's it going?"
"Submission fog kindness between western"
(bonus points if the person has a stroke, aneurysm, or seizure trying to figure out what you just said.)

So why do people feel compelled to speak when they have nothing to say? I think it's because people are uncomfortable NOT talking to people, for fear the other person would think they're being ignored, and think ill of the non-talker. It's silly to think that your silence will incur their scorn, and even sillier to think that some prattle with earn their admiration. To them I say,

Not everyone likes you. Get over it.

The thought that exchanging light pleasantries will immediately earn you the good graces of everyone you see, smacks of an eagerness for validation. If everyone loves you, then you can love yourself.
Weak sauce.

I realize that some readers may not be like this, and secretly resent meaningless conversations just as I do. To them, I charge you with a task... Make an enemy of a validation-seeker. Give no reason for your displeasure of them, simply state that you don't much care for them, and do not wish to engage in purposeless conversation with them. This will cause the validation-whore to want to make the situation right, and make you like them. You must ensure that these attempts fail. Once they understand that you can't make everyone like you, they will have learned an important lesson. And will have you to thank for it! (they may send chocolates!) (but if they do, don't eat them...)

[Rant mode OFF]

Now that the rant mode is off, I'm still a nice guy, and don't seek to hurt anyone's feelings (though some may need it); it's just that these constant annoyances can wear on even the most tolerant people.

Will I belittle or degrade anyone who asks me pointless questions? Probably not (unless I happen to be in a poor mood, which happens very infrequently). Will I begin answering these pointless questions in ways that make the asker think they misheard, or become confused? Most assuredly.

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