Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Break it by using it.

So, we've already established that the Delta Smelt is a protected species, and continues to enjoy more rights to life than farmers in the nation's breadbasket.

We've also established that the Obama Administration won't be shamed into overturning this disgusting abuse of animal protection laws.

So what's next? Do we continue to push and push like we've already done, and hope things change?

I think I've got a more elegant solution.

I take great pleasure in devising ways to get programs, institutions, or practices to commit suicide.

A few examples that I neither condone nor recommend:
A campaign to overuse free materials from a group you disagree with will result in higher operating costs for them.

Getting a group of people to call an 800 number for a group you disagree with will also cost them money.

But those are not as elegant as actually USING the system against itself...

A few examples that are illegal and should not be attempted by anyone:
Hypothetically putting fake plates on your car, and a fake driver in your car to mimic to appearance of the local politician who approved red light cameras, and driving through every red light camera in the city.

Hypothetically calling every dial-a-probable-cause anonymous crime tip line and reporting details of drug activity going on at a local judge's house.

Hypothetically burying illegal drugs on the property of a local judge/politician/police chief/district attorney, with a big house and expensive property, and anonymously reporting the activity to a higher authority. (Asset forfeiture)

Aside from being hilarious, these kinds of activities would bring the abuse of these services right to the doorstep of the people who can eliminate these programs. Even a local mayor can bring more attention to the abuses and misuses of these systems than a "political nobody" could.

Back to the original point; how to get the protection of the delta smelt to commit suicide?

Easy! Help it grow!

Transplant some delta smelt into reservoirs and areas that reservoir pumps feed into all over America, then call the EPA and report the presence of these endangered fish. The delta smelt are rather hardy when it comes to salinity, and would probably live wherever they're put. Put them in enough areas, make them cut off water to enough land, and the problem isn't about pumping any more, it's about the delta smelt. If you get enough people inconvenienced by this fish, there WILL be a solution. Of course, this works with other endangered species too. Toss an American Burying Beetle into every new construction project in a city, and report them too. Cities already play these games devaluing property in order to snatch it up, and use it. What's good for the goose...

Do I hate the delta smelt? No. I hate what people are doing to "save" it. Obviously these people haven't heard of survival of the fittest. If the delta smelt can't survive in an area where the pumps oxygenate the water, maybe some other fish can. If there is another fish that can adapt to that environment, and will make use of the resources in that area. If you don't think pumps pouring water into a lake is a natural occurrence, I recommend you take a closer look at waterfalls.

Species mutate, fail to adapt, and die out every day. The notion that we can have some lasting effect on the natural order of things is ludicrous.

Are we supposed to save every possum born without lungs, armadillo born blind, or fish born without an air bladder? I mean, pumping water to grow plants and feed people is hardly nuking a thriving ecosystem and salting the Earth. Hell, even if we did that, I'll bet something would start growing there within a century anyways.

Of course all logic is thrown out the window once you've had your first conversation with an animal rights activists who is openly a human extinctionist.

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