Monday, March 22, 2010

I for one welcome our new Democrat overlords.

First of all, let me say that this "health care" bill was pure genius.

You already knew there were several pitfalls in tax-payer funded abortion, and the single-payer system so you took care of the first with back room deals, and the second by building a situation in which there MUST be a government-backed single payer system! The bit about requiring coverage for pre-existing conditions turns the whole idea of insurance on its head! Who on Earth would think they could crash their car, sign up for insurance, and make them pay for it? But in the context of health insurance, it sounds horrible to suggest otherwise! Inspirational!

The bill was perfectly crafted to destroy insurance company profitability to the point that they would have to cast off droves of people, and those who could stay on their coverage would suffer necessarily increased premiums, and severely degraded coverage. You've created conditions that will prove your originally incorrect point to be true! Staggering!

Of course, all this takes place while acting under the guise of making the insurance companies better. The 80% of people who actually like their insurance coverage right now will flip to 80% who hate their coverage! They'll ask-- no, they'll DEMAND the government be the single payer for health care! The brilliance astounds a humble blogger such as myself!

Because the funding was an issue, you intentionally fed the CBO specific requests so the results would be favorable. Then, you silenced detractors by claiming it will be paid for entirely by the rich! Of course, you already know that the rich are rich for a reason, and that they will find a way to avoid these tax increases, but that was your intention all along! Because the big money is in the middle class! So you promise the rich will fund it, then by the time they figure ways around the taxes, people will have no choice but to accept middle class tax increases!

Only these wise Democrats could have had the foresight to include provisions to add 15,000 new IRS agents to deal with the tax impositions on businesses. It will be your own private army of fund collectors! There's no way businesses can comprehend this expansive bill, but they will surely understand the penalties and costs after your agents get through with them! The added expense will force them to cut wages, and lay off employees, making even MORE uninsured people to prove your point!

When the history books are written, they will be about how the Obama administration fought valiantly against the evil insurance companies to bring health care to the masses! They will write about how the insurance companies fought against the change by viciously dropping coverage for the sick and poor while raising rates dramatically in a desperate bid to twist the arm of the defenseless public to fight on their behalf. But the books will also show your eventual victory over the dastardly insurance companies, and that you were so kind as to create a government option for health care that had such amazing service, all private insurers simply shut their doors. Your benevolent reign will be permanently secure in history.

But it can not end there! Once you control the health and well-being of the people, you can use denial of care to destroy your opponents! Who can rise against you if they are too weak or sickly to fight? Dissidents will be denied coverage, and fruitlessly appeal through a bureaucratic maze of paperwork and judgment committees! All who oppose you will fall in line, or die.

It is because of this that I know that you will be our last elected president. How could minds so bright as to develop this flawless strategy leave such a silly thing as an election to chance?

So now, for the first time, I hail you as you will soon be remembered;

All hail Emperor Obama!


NotClauswitz said...

This just affirms my belief that most people lack any sense of economics at the most basic level -it's all hateful, wishful thinking.

Anonymous said...

I work with a couple of those people. Quoting here, "why would you complain about paying a few extra dollars so somebody else can have insurance?" You can't reason with that mentality.