Wednesday, July 08, 2009

Unnecessary cellular speakerphone usage

File under "Things I Hate"

I have no problem with people who need their hands free, and put their cell phone on the table with speakerphone on, that's understandable. Or when you want more than one person to listen, which is what speakerphone was actually intended for.

I'm talking about the people who walk around with their phone three inches from their face, with the speaker phone on, volume maxed out, talking to their phone at a high volume.

Why, god why?

1. You're holding the phone THREE INCHES FROM YOUR FACE ALREADY! Just close the gap, and push it against your face!

2. I don't care that your sister needs to be picked up because her car broke down, AND YET IT'S NOW TAKING UP SPACE IN MY BRAIN!

3. FUCK YOU. The next time I see another fuckktard like you doing that, I'm going to call someone on my phone, switch to speaker phone, turn up the volume on my phone and myself, and follow you around having a loud conversation about how I'm talking to this person on speakerphone, even though the phone is three inches from my face, and how I have a condition that prevents me from lowering the volume on my voice. If I'm feeling punchy, I might even throw in what a insensitive asshole I am for inconveniencing and annoying everyone around me.

Ahhh... That feels better...


none said...

Ahh bluetooth is sounding good after this post.

Tony said...

Speaking of cell phones: I once saw a woman, walking down the street, use a cell phone with a hands-free setup so that she had the ear phone in her ear, held the microphone close to her mouth with one hand, and held the cell phone in her other hand.

That was a display of a very special level of incompetence with technical devices that I don't think everyone is capable of.

Fletch said...

Tony, that's like ANTI-hands-free.

You're actually using MORE hands than you would use if you didn't have the hands free.

I must say I agree with you; that's just impressive.

Anonymous said...

I have a small whistle on my keychain. When that happens I blow softly on the whistle, doesn't take long. Usually they ask "Do you mind" and my response is "No, do you?"

Fletch said...

Nice idea, Anon!