lol cn U tch me 2 hax intrnets?

The bane of a hacker's existence. Noobs asking (or demanding) for you to "teach" them how to become hackers. The question is so common it's nearly universally ignored. I, however, usually tell them I'd be happy to teach them how to "hax0r teh intarnets" if they're willing to do the work to learn. Everyone always says yes to this. I then explain to them that becoming a true hacker requires a deep understanding of software models, networking, programming languages, and how software interacts with other software. Most will agree they're willing to learn this. I then tell them to learn a programming language if they don't already know one. Only a few have known any languages before my request, and even fewer return after having learned a new language. Next I ask them to write a simple trojan horse that will run on one box and accept commands from another location. This simple task has only been completed by one person. I then asked that person to read about and understand a few attack vectors and write a sample exploit tool for one of the exploits. He did it. I asked him to learn SQL and proper management techniques in order to better understand how to run exploits against SQL servers and backends. He did.

Truly impressed, I asked him if he still wanted to become a hacker. He said he did, but he now he wasn't sure what being a black hat hacker (proper term) was about. I told him, and told him why I don't do what I used to do anymore. He said he didn't want to be a hacker anymore. I then told him that I never had any intention to teach him to become a malicious hacker, but used his drive to push him to learn skills he probably wouldn't have learned on his own. I then told him that without realizing it, he'd developed a series of marketable skills that are in demand in the IT industry. I told him that with his drive and skills he should have little problem finding work that pays better and doesn't bear the threat of federal prison (or now, being labeled as an enemy combatant and being thrown in gitmo sans habius corpus). Then I didn't hear from him.

I hope he's doing well.

After most hackers learn the skills required to become elite they realize that they've got big fat paychecks waiting for them all over the tech industry. Nothing takes the angry teenager fighting against the government's systems of perpetual poverty and tyranny out of you like the promise of good pay and the hopes of making said pay while avoiding federal pound-me-in-the-ass prison.