Thursday, October 07, 2004

This morning

This morning I was rather tired, somehow the shower failed to wake me up sufficiently.

Before I knew it I was pulling into the parking lot and into my spot.
which kinda made me worry about my driving manner on the way over

I got in early, early being fifteen minutes after eight (heh, heh... hmm). When I get in that early I get to see the morning security guard sweep up the walk. As I walked up I found myself suprised at the fervor with which I wished he would not talk to me.

To no avail



Just one more day till we can start up another weekend!

Oh yeah!

I'd hoped I would have just snapped at him but "hey" and "oh yeah" seemed to be as far as I managed to get.

I didn't speak with sarcasm, my "oh yeah" was sincere. At least, I think it was sincere. I wondered what made me pander to his pointlessly innane statement. I didn't have to be polite, I didn't even have to say anything. But I did.

We co-locate at this facility which makes us some kind of tenant in their house.

As a result we suffered a congenital gap between us and the staff working here. You can almost feel the people talking about you after you leave a room.

It's wierd.

Anyways, I make an effort to bridge the gap with pleasant conversation and innane responces to innane comments. Why? I don't know.

Humans are social creatures and even when we don't want to affirm it, we do. You mean we don't THINK we want to...

But then...

I went to the restroom and while standing at the urinal, I heard someone come in and turn on the sink. I finished up and walked around to the sinks. The gentleman was washing his glasses.

As I approached the sink I, noting my personal resentment for the innane conversation which took place shortly prior, nodded very slightly to him and addressed the sink. As I washed my hands (which usually takes me about 20 seconds) it became obvious the other gentleman was having some trouble and taking a while. So...

We washed in silence.

I think we caught eyes once more before I dried my hands and left.
What was odd was that an exchange like that usually left me feeling disconnected, but this time, not really.

There definitely wasn't the same feeling in quiet presence of that gentleman than the feeling I get when I walk into the lobby to get a soda.

I concluded that there IS a way to be social (or at least a sickly version of "social") without the idiotic prattle.

We acknowledge eachother's existance, and move on.

If we have relevant information to convey, we do so.

If not, I don't wanna hear it!

I'd like to point out that the employees in the lobby did not acknowledge my existance in the same manner the gentleman did. How do you know if your acknowledgement is a gentlemanly one or an akward one? You don't need to know, you do before you even walk in the room.

Guess that's it. Sorry if you thought I was going somewhere with this...

Signing off...

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