Friday, November 16, 2007

Quote of the Dwarf Fortress

Story found on a DF thread...

Immigrants do the darnedest things.

It started with some immigrant kid, who came with his father in a pack of 12 dwarves. Food was tight and all these new stomachs weren't helping, so I sent the kid's father to hunt straight away.

So Dad goes out and kills a deer. Nearby I guess was Bambi, who became enraged and followed Dad back to the butchery. Bambi started kicking Dad around, so of course his damn kid had to jump into the mix. Fight of the century: Bambi versus little dwarven boy. The kid got murderized so fast I didn't even see the message until I dug through the logs to figure out why everything went to hell a few days later.

The kid had a swift funeral, because nobody wants to see dead kids lying around the hallways. The fortress got back to business as usual and I figured that was that.

The next day, the kid's father must have woken up on the wrong side of his +Oaken Bed+. He threw a tantrum. I think, aww, he's just going to smash up a few barrels or something. Let him vent, the guy lost his only son for heaven's sake. He wanders the halls all day and I'm sure he's going to calm down soon.

Suddenly he turns around and beats one of his fellow immigrants to death. Wow, okay, this has to stop but I have no idea how to stop it. He starts chasing another immigrant down the hall, splattering blood everywhere. Then this peasant jumps in and finally ends Dad's rampage for good. The immigrant he was chasing bleeds to death before anybody can get him to a bed.

The peasant was badly wounded during the fight, but she'll live. It turns out that the second victim was her husband. Now she's lying in bed throwing her own tantrums, but she's too wounded to walk. I have this feeling that as soon as she can get up, she's going to do something really really bad...

Who invited these people to my nice, orderly fortress, anyway?

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