Thursday, August 02, 2007

What has Bush done?

Listening to NPR blame Bush for the collapsed highway makes me think about something...

What has Bush done so far according to democrats?

He started an illegal war against an innocent country that no one approved.
He summoned a hurricane with global warming to destroy New Orleans because black people live there.
He laughed maniacally and did nothing as New Orleans begged for help.
He has doomed the entire planet by not forcing congress to approve the Kyoto treaty.
He murdered 3000 American citizens and destroyed the WTC towers so he could pass the patriot act.
He passed the patriot act and is secretly imprisoning everyone who speaks against him.
He made up Osama Bin Laden so he could topple Saddam.
He bends his little finger and raises or lowers the price of a barrel of oil.
He used his evil powers (eye laz0rs?) to destroy a bridge in Minnesota.

Honestly, if this shit were true, Bush would need a cape or something, because shit like destroying the world, murdering thousands of people, and controlling uncontrollable and unpredictable markets is pretty much on supervillan level. He'd need a cooler name though.

Did I mention he has done all this while being dumber than a bag of rocks?

And still the Democrats refuse to try to bring impeachment proceedings. Clearly Bush must be using his mind powers to prevent Dems from starting the proceedings, because it would be a sure thing right? All you folks gotta know that your representatives are not supporting impeachment, right? Call your legislators! Don't let the dastardly Bush get off so easy! Break his hypnotic spell on the Democratically controlled congress and unseat this king from his throne! ... Go on... I dare you.

While I've got your attention; I also heard that they're secretly genetically creating a bushchenydubaihalibsaddambinladen manchurian candidate who will sweep the elections though a mind control ray fired from a satelite owned by diebold who can only be killed by a stake wrapped in the original constitution run straight through his investment portfolio!
So, lets get ready for that. Then.


JR said...

"...who can only be killed by a stake wrapped in the original constitution run straight through his investment portfolio!"

Now that my friend is some funny text.

blogagog said...

I heard he killed Santa Claus.

ExistingThing said...

Whoops, forgot to include Rumsfeld and TEH JOOOOOOOOOOS! It ain't a conspiracy without Rummy and the new world order...