I am Jack's ingrown toenail.

Coming this summer...

The Ingrown 2: Second nail in the coffin

Yeah... So my ingrown toenail is back. And this time, it's personal. Apparently there is a 10% chance that the removed portion of a toenail will grow back. The 10% apparently lies with the doctor's ability to successfully remove ALL the section. The doctor that did the first was fail.

So, in a bit of pain, I went to the clinic because I knew it would just grow back if I fixed it myself, and that it risked infection if I waited. The memory of the shots burned in my mind, but what's a little temporary pain, right? I was seen rather quickly (under an hour), and my usually successful attempt to make the first nurse laugh fell on deaf ears.

"Do you have any allergies?"
"No."
"Oh-kay..."
"Ah, I don't like cheese... Is that-? Does that mean something?"
"No."
"Oh... Actually, I don't mind cheddar jack. It's kind of mild, you know? Does that-? Do you need to...?" Gesturing at the computer
"No." (not even a smirk)
"Oh. Ok. Does black licorice count? Because I can't stand that stuff."
"Please follow me."

Hmmm... Oh well. Can't win them all. By the way, if none of that seemed funny, I should note that it's really all in the delivery.

I explained to the doctor that I had the same procedure 4 months prior and that the previous doctor said that the removed section would not grow back. She commented that the doctor probably failed to catch a sliver of the beginning of the nail. I told her that I knew it was going to hurt and told her to do it fast and hard to be done quickly, and to be very sure that it would not come back. She then got some backup, and cautiously began the shots.

"You probably remember, the shots are pretty painful."
"Kindly, I don't want to hear about them, I just want them as quickly as you can give them without undue pain."
"Okay..."

Apparently the doctor doing the procedure was somewhat new and asked the opinion of the doctor backing her up. This caused her to describe what she was doing and the other doctor to comment on how she should cut and how deep to push whatever it is they shove under your nail.

"Is this needle long enough? I'm already hitting the bone..."
"Push it in deeper, we need to get all the way to the back."
"Just try to peel it back."
"Make sure there's no blood at the site, it counteracts the [medical term]."
"Yeah, get deep in there."

>_>...

"Hey, guys?"
"Yes? Are you feeling any pain?"
"No I'm fine, but can I have the trash can?"
"Oh yes, hang on, I'll get a tub. If you're in pain you need to let us know."
"Nope, don't mind me. Just finish up and be sure it won't come back..."

It was done much more quickly and was much more bearable this time. They said there didn't seem to be any additional infection so I shouldn't need antibiotics or anything. They didn't give me any pain-killers this time which is fine because I wouldn't have taken them any way.

It's only been a few hours and I don't know how long the local anesthetic lasts, but so far it hasn't hurt much.

On a side note I brought a book Josh suggested I read, but when I attempted to retrieve it from the accumulation of clutter that is my back seat, I noticed Atlas Shrugged was lying on top of it. I wondered aloud how I managed to forget about this book and after a moment of contemplation grabbed both. In the waiting room I looked at the two books and laughed inwardly at how the small size of God's Debris made the thick paperback look cartoonishly large. I should really just read God's Debris I'm almost done with it. I probably won't even remember what happened where I left off in Atlas Shrugged... I'll just take a peek. Instantly I'm standing next to Hank Rearden trying to put on his starched shirt, his forehead pressed against the cool mirror in front of him as he tries to overcome the anxiety building within him about the coming dinner party he must endure, and the scorn he will suffer for being too focused on this business. Wow. How did I ever stop reading this? Don't worry Josh, I'll finish your book this lunch hour.