Wednesday, October 03, 2007

What THE FUCK?!

WARNING: The rant mode is ON and turned to 11.
REPEAT! RANT MODE: ELEVEN!


Target Lawsuit Given Class-Action Status

The plaintiffs fault Target for not adopting technology used by other companies to make Web sites accessible to the blind.


What the fuck?

What the fuck?!

WHAT THE FUCK?!

I'm just about ready to stand next to these guys and encourage them. I WANT this kind of idiotic ADA bullshit to be brought to the light of day so everyone can start to realize how RETARDED the whole idea is! Today, when EVERYTHING is a disability, you can't argue that everyone has to cater to YOU. It's impossible.

But don't worry, I think I've got a winning idea to bring a head to this idiocy;

Nutritional facts are NOT blind-person accessible.

They're federally required to be printed on comestibles, (think of all the lives saved!) and blind people are legally defined as disabled under the ADA, and since these nutritional facts are UNREADABLE by blind people, they should sue, and require that every nutritional fact label include a braille version. That's right, I want all this information to be reprinted IN BRAILLE, ON THE PACKAGING.
I want to see one foot of braille attached to a god damned stick of lip balm.

I must have a case, because if a blind guy can't read a private company's website, he deserves cash money.

I just need to come up with some idiotic "disabilities" and sue everyone under the ADA. Perhaps I should develop a phobia of the ground, and require all publicly available businesses to have a helipad installed on their roof. Maybe I should be wheelchair-bound and deathly afraid of ramps, requiring all publicly available businesses and services to accommodate my idiotic fear or physical malady. Maybe color-blind people can sue all companies that produces goods that use more colors than they can see! Maybe if I cut off my thumbs, I can sue the manufacturers of ALL ITEMS THAT REQUIRE THUMBS TO OPERATE. I wouldn't have any thumbs, but for the money I'd be given, I could pay someone else to play Halo for me!

Lets see, since websites not being readable by the blind is an issue; what ELSE is not readable by the blind? Cell phones. ATM card swipers with digital buttons for PIN entry. Restaurant menus. Highlighting. Tie-related warnings on paper shredders. Text on paper media that comes out of a printer (sue the printer manufacturer!). DVDs. Movie theaters. Traffic lights. CARS! the list goes on.

Maybe not speaking English could be determined to be a disability! What about dyslexia! If I can't read text, the company that printed the text needs to provide a person to stand there and vocalize all the text on all the products they produce!

RANT OVER!
probably... this really pisses me off, so I promise nothing...

OK. The class action suit complains that the site did NOT provide software that would vocalize the content of the web page. You know where you can find software that vocalizes the text on a browser?
THE FUCKING INTERNET
The FIRST result points to a browser that can *gasp* READ WEB PAGES TO YOU! Holy fucking shit, I might just die. You're saying that I have a disability, and someone has developed some software to make my life easier, AND they've made it available to me for FREE?! FESUS JUCKING CHRIST! It's almost as though when I make a MINOR effort, I can find solutions to my problems WITHOUT PURSUING LEGAL ACTION AGAINST A PRIVATE COMPANY! I could even (gasp) buy a braille terminal and read the text on my computer??? Of course that would require me to get off my BLIND ASS and actually TRY instead of playing victim!

There are plenty of disabled people in this country who are living normal or near-normal lives of self-sufficiency or near-self-sufficiency. My guess is that these guys resent idiotic lawsuits that pervert the spirit of the ADA (which, being a free market kind of guy, I barely agree with in the first place).

Die in a fire,
ExistingThing


NOTE: This post is NOT available in braille unless you MAKE AN EFFORT to convert it!.

1 comment:

JR said...

You do not know the half of it. As the company I work for expands, we get hit with more and more retroactive ADA crap. Plus, was was ADA compliant 6 years ago, no longer is.

I will soon be tearing up a large chunk of one of our parling lots to correct the slope for 4 handicap parking places, spots which never get used.

Why is it again that companies move production off shore?