Wednesday, July 18, 2012

The .380 gets snubbed

When I first saw the S&W Bodyguard 380, I liked it. I liked the lines, the idea of an integrated laser, the second strike ability, and I just plain liked it. At the time I resigned myself to not having one because there was little chance of S&W making a California compliant model.

Now that I'm in Kentucky though, and have access to an expanded market for firearms, I've been keeping an eye out.

I recently found someone looking to trade his Bodyguard 380 for a pocket revolver, and I had been neglecting the S&W 442, so I made the offer.

He was fielding some other offers so it took him some time to respond.

Don't look at me like that...

Did I do something wrong?

Then why?
It's just that...
Am I not sexy enough? We can't all look like those polymer guns in the gun rags with doublestacked magazines!
I'm not comparing you to--
Those doublestacks aren't even real! Those fat grips are all plastic!
I know, I know, I just... It's not you, it's me.
Oh sure!
No, really, I just... My tastes have changed.
Your tastes? Like your taste for perfect reliability, 200 ft/lbs of energy, all steel construction, a firing grip inside the pocket, those are all gone?
Well, no, it's just that autos have more capacity and more firepower. They're much more reliable now.
HA! You can only call them reliable because you have a standard to compare them against. I AM that standard!
It wouldn't be half as bad if it wasn't for a first generation release of a 380 auto! AND with a laser that doesn't even turn on from the grip? I'm embarrassed for you. At least have some taste and leave me for a P238.
What? 380s have been out for a long time and are pretty darn reliable!
Well I'm glad "pretty darn reliable" is good enough for the gun you carry to protect your life and the lives of your loved ones.
I can have 7 rounds in the gun and two more mags for 19 rounds available AND have a quick reload!
Oh! I thought you were looking for a pocket gun, not a G26 with a 33 round magazine in it! How many shots are usually fired to end a potentially violent confrontation again? I really can't remember, how much was it?
... Zero.
OH YEAH! ZERO! Well it's ok, you can still enjoy your 19 round tacticool go-to-war mall ninja mousegun. And with all the extra rounds, you don't have to worry as much about missing! Just think suppressive fire.
That's not fair. I already carry because I'd rather have it and not need it than need it and not have it.
Exactly, and when you absolutely need it, you absolutely need it to put hits on a target's vitals and precipitate loss of consciousness to stop further aggression.
So what good is it if it doesn't shoot?
How many times do I have to say it? They are very reliable.
I'm the standard.
Well, I suppose it's good you'll have extra rounds then, because you'll have to make up those extra foot pounds somehow.
Look, I get it, you're powerful, you're reliable, you're small, but the 380 is smaller.
I didn't realize I was too fat for your pocket. I guess with that 380 you can drop your keys in there, and your change, and your--
Ok, I know, I'm not going to put lots of stuff in that pocket.
But what will you do with all that extra pocket space? Maybe you can cram another 380 in there for a New York reload in case of a jam! Or shoot 'em both at once John Woo style! Or maybe... Just maybe... you can carry a gun that's a little bigger, more powerful, and much more reliable.
Let me know when you get a .25. I'll bet you can carry hundreds of rounds of ammo with that thing!
I'm not getting a .25, the .380 is a reliable, powerful pocket auto cartridge.
Right. Of all the pocket auto cartridges, it's the best. Is that like being the tallest midget?
Are you done yet?
Nope. I have three more words.
Fine. What are they?

Man. These guns are vicious.

He dropped the offer. He decided that he wanted to stick with a semi. Which is fine, because I decided I wanted to keep this old wheelgun around.

1 comment:

NotClauswitz said...

Nice Wheelgun! Happy Wheelgun!