Don't fucking insult me.

Our VP got into... something with a subsidiary of a customer. The subsidiary said they were secure, and didn't need our service. VP said they weren't secure, and needed our service. Then it got personal between them. Enter me, stage right;

Me: You called?
VP: Yeah, we've got this guy down in oceanside who's cockblocking us from some business down there because he claims his network is secure. If we prove him wrong, we'll be poised to get the account.
Me: ... Okay...
VP: He was all in my face, all like, 'no, eff this, eff them, I don't need them' whatever. I want to show this guy up.
Me: *eyebrow tweak*
VP: This has gotten totally personal. I want this to happen.
Me: Okay... Well... Do they have any internet-facing services, or other means to get in?
VP: I don't know, but I really want to get in this network. I want to go over to that guy, slam a paper down on the desk, and say 'There. That's why you're full of shit.'
Me: Well, it doesn't exactly work like that, I mean, I can't just hack anyone. They need to have services or some form of "in" to the network. If they've just got a cable router and five computers behind a firewall, it's almost impossible to get in without some form of social engineering.
VP: I don't care, I know you can do it. I just really want in to that network. This'll be a big account for us, and it's ours for the taking if we can just prove this idiot wrong.
Me: ... [given up talking to someone who isn't going to listen]
VP: And, hey; [my name]...
Me: ... yeah?
VP: If you get in... [dramatic pause] There's 100 bucks in it for ya.
Me: ...
VP: Yeah. So. We should get in. Ka-Ching!

VP Exulent left.

WHOAAAAAAAA! One HUNDRED dollars?! Cash money?! Well, THAT changes EVERYTHING! Before I was just going to phone it in, but NOW... Well, shit! You know that 30 acre plot in AZ with the quarry? That shit is MINE NOW.

Don't

fucking

insult me.

I'm a hacker. I'm good at what I do. That's why we're charging a mid-sized customer 10k for security work. That's why I'm doing it all myself, and that's why we have no other security people on staff. But you come to me, and tell me that YOU have made it personal? You tell me that YOU want to get into this network? You tell me that YOU have no idea what the attack vectors are, or even if there ARE any? THEN, you have the nerve to personally offer me one hundred dollars as incentive to get in?!

First of all, what in your experience with me has lead you to believe that I half-ass my security work? Was it the time I didn't get in, and worked on it two extra nights until I found an opening? Was it the time I went beyond scope just so we didn't have an empty report for the customer? Somehow I think not. The idea that by simply offering me 100 smackers, I'm suddenly going to try EXTRA hard to get in, is insulting. Secondly, I have a pretty good idea how much you get for signing a customer, and 100 fucking dollars is a goddamn insult. Especially considering I'm the one closing the deal for you! And yes, I still remember when you promised me a finders fee when I delivered a customer to you, and I still remember when I got that "bonus" of $150 as you closed the 6K account (recurring!).

Fuck you, fuck your "personal" conflict with this guy, fuck your trying to get me in on your conflict, and fuck your hundred dollars!


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COOL OFF PERIOD
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Ok. Venting is good. I'm going to do the work, because I'm a professional, and because we could use the customer. When you give me the hundred dollars, I'm going to smile and accept it graciously.

If he ever offers me an insultingly small "incentive" to do my job again, I'm going to decline, and leave it at that. If he presses me on it, I'm going to leave the room, for fear I might tell him where he can put his "incentive."