Tuesday, October 05, 2010

Smooth Obamatron hits a segfault, gets stuck in a loop

George Snuffleupagus interviewed President Obama, and just had to ask the question every Democrat must be asking while November approaches the Democrats in the same way an asteroid approached the dinosaurs;
STEPHANOPOULOS: How deep is your commitment to this fight? Are you saying that if Congress passes a short term extension of all the tax cuts, you're gonna veto it?

OBAMA: George, here's what . I'm saying is that we've got a fundamental choice about this economy... [tl;dr blah blah republicans' fault]

STEPHANOPOULOS: Does that mean you will veto an extension of tax cuts to the wealthy?

OBAMA: What I am saying is that if we are going to add to our deficit by $35 billion, $95 billion, $100 billion, $700 billion, if that's the Republican agenda, then I've got a whole bunch of better ways to spend that money.

STEPHANOPOULOS: But you're not saying you're gonna veto it.

OBAMA: There are a whole bunch better ways to spend the money.

STEPHANOPOULOS: How come you don't want to say veto?

OBAMA: There are a whole bunch better ways to spend the money.

ERROR! ERROR! DOES NOT COMPUTE! Conflict between prime directive 1 and 2!

Prime directive 1: Soak the rich
Prime directive 2: Preserve Democrat leadership
Prime directive 3: Golf

Engage subroutine &doubletalk;
RETURN: "There are a whole bunch better ways to spend the money."

Source video

Meanwhile, the Democrats in Congress are doing the same thing;
Reporter: Hai guise! Wanna propose legislation to extend Bush's tax cuts for the middle class? You look like you could really use a boost and you already concede that this needs to happen.
Congressional Dems: ERROR! ERROR! DOES NOT COMPUTE! Conflict between prime directives! ONE: Never cut taxes. TWO: Preserve Democrat leadership.
Reporter: What?
Congressional Dems: We're going to wait until after November.
Reporter: But shouldn't you act now, before Republicans get into power, and take the credit for passing it? Pushing it through now is a no-brainer win for you guys, and might spare you a few seats!
Congressional Dems: *BZZZT* We're going to wait until after November.

1 comment:

Mike said...

My head just exploded. Our PRESIDENT actually said "...if you're going to spend, say 95 billion dollars, even just for two years for these tax cuts..."

HOW THE FUCK IS CUTTING TAXES THE SAME AS SPENDING!?

I feel like I'm going insane, but at the same time, I know it's not me but the world.