10. Read War an Peace.
9. Learn Japanese.
8. Vent on twitter.
7. Play the game you played BEFORE you owned the EA piece of trash. (Hopefully the last game wasn't an EA game too)
6. Septuple-check your internet connection.
5. Press "Retry" until the batteries in your controller run out.
4. Try to find EA's headquarters address, only to discover it is a tightly kept secret for some reason.
3. Make sign that says, "The end of EA is nigh" and stand outside your local game shop.
2. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally, repeat.
And the number one thing to do while EA's servers are down is...
1. RETURN THE GODDAMN GAME
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"Why you make me hit you baby? You know I love you."
"I know."
"You know I'd do anything for you?"
"I know."
"Good. Now make me a sandwich. I'm going to go out and get drunk."
"Ok. Should I buy more XBOX points?"
"BITCH I TOLD YOU YOU GONNA NEED 'EM!"
"Okay! Okay, I knew that, I was just--! I wanted to make sure!"
This is why I play single-player games. Also, this.
On second thought, this is better.
back to dig-doug
and i think its funny that only the pirated versions of game still work EA outage or not. its like the movie issues.
if you pirate a movie when you hit play the damn movie starts.
if you buy the movie, you get 4 'upcoming' trailers that you cant ff through, then you get 3 adds, and 1 more telling you that pirating movies is bad, and then 15 minutes later if not more, you can watch the movie, as long as it does not want your software/player to phone home and pull an update for it.
I used to work around the corner from EA, sorta across the lagoon at Redwood Shores, equidistant from Oracle. The EA workers at Albertson's at lunch and Togo's were always nervous and harassed. I knew one guy who rode dirtbikes and was a production manager - he was always about to die from some stress-induce illness or another until her retired young. I think he mad a few mil on stock options but the intensity of the push and crush was overwhelming and ruined his health.
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