'Hero' turns her attention to gun control
WARNING; Do not read this article if you dislike seeing people refusing to learn from an important lesson about life.
She gets SO CLOSE to figuring it out! It's like watching a monkey trying to put the round peg in the round hole; he'll beat it against the square holes for a few minutes, and when he finally puts it in the right hole and you feel happy for his success; he removes it from the hole, and begins beating himself in the head with it. HE JUST DOESN'T FUCKING GET IT. STOP TRYING.
Klein said her American Red Cross training helped her instinctively know what to do when she was confronted and shot by the gunman.
...bleed? No, seriously; what fucking help did taking a deep breath do, besides prepare your soul's evacuation? FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT! Don't lay back and accept your fate! Even if you can't fight for your own life, fight for the life of your unborn child! I'm disgusted.
How and why Haq "was able to legally acquire two semi-automatic weapons in our state is still a very disturbing mystery to me," she said.
Maybe it's a "very disturbing mystery" to me why people think that ANY LAWS will stop law-breakers... But hey, living in a fantasy world where everyone's your friend, and everyone wishes everyone else the best works out OK sometimes... I guess; unless you're bleeding to death from a slit throat in your own driveway. (which, incidentally, would be a bad time to learn that lesson...)
She urged employers around the region to take advantage of free- and low-cost workplace safety training programs.
Now, THIS I gotta see...
Touchy, feely, balding, instructor in hemp sandals: "Ok, so, if a crazed gunman enters your workplace, try to reason with him."
Employee: "Reason with him? But didn't you just said he was crazed?"
Hippy McHempSandals: "Well, just because someone appears to be crazed doesn't mean that we can't try to understand him."
Concerned employee: "But-- Umm, ok, how should we do that?"
Hippy: "Let him know that you understand his anger and that --"
Me: "BANG! BANG! 'OH GOD!' BANG! BANG! 'PLEASE NO!' BANG BANG!"
Cross instructor: "That's not funny."
Me: "You're god-damned right that wasn't funny! What was funny was the part where you tried to reason with him."
He said Klein likely remembered the training program's four Cs: check the scene for safety; call 911; care for the injured; and remain calm.
Sounds like good tips if you've just arrived at the scene, and the gunman is gone. But what tips did she have for preventing the murder of her coworkers as she watched helplessly? What? Huh? Nothing? Oh...
Despite her strong composure during press appearances, Klein said she is taking life day by day.
Congratulations! You've taken the first step! You've realized that you're life IS important, and that it could be taken from you at any time! Here's your token, good work! Now, on to lesson two, taking action to protect life from those with disregard for it. What's that? Gun control?! Give me that token back...
While there, they met with former President Clinton to discuss gun control and safety, issues his foundation supports.
-snip-
They proudly showed the photo to reporters Thursday at a press conference "Best to you and your child," Clinton wrote on the back of the picture frame.
Wow. Just wow. You know, that photo came very close to being signed "My condolences on your loss." A grand bit of help either one would have done to stop this tragedy.
"I know these people, which makes it so much harder," she said. "It also makes it so much more rewarding when I see us all rise to the occasion and heal with bravery and integrity."
Clearly, she believes that the best revenge is living well. Maybe she should tell that to her dead coworkers. "Hey, you crazed gunman intent on killing everyone you can; after you shoot all these innocent people, those of us who survive are going to all get together and heal with bravery and integrity! THEN what are you going to do!?" *BANG*
This kind of crap frustrates me to no end.
If she sat down and actually THOUGHT about the situation for more than 30 seconds, she'd realize that her current baby, and her unborn child rely on HER AND ONLY HER for their protection. She FAILED THEM.
She failed to adequately protect her life, and the lives of those she loves. And who was there to stop that piece of trash from almost killing her? The police? Some security guard? Happy thoughts? NOBODY.
She doesn't realize that the exact same thing could happen to her tomorrow, and the outcome would be the same (or worse) because SHE failed to take precautions!
Maybe she SHOULD get shot in the arm again. Then after it heals, she can be shot again. Then again, and again, and again; until she figures it out!
Note: existingthing in no way supports the repeated shooting of someone to help them learn an important lesson because he understands that some people are proud of their inability to change the way they think.
Frustrated with the article, I went straight to the horse's mouth, and had a fake interview with this hero; here's the fake transcript:
Me: First, of all, I want to commend you on your bravery.
Hero: Thank you, when I saw that man shooting all those people, and turn the gun towards me, I just knew that I had to do something. That's when my ninja-like Red Cross training kicked in, and I performed a triple flip towards the gunman, and took a deep breath in his face.
M: Excuse me, I get a little choked up when I hear you tell it like that. What was going through you mind?
H: Well, I was totally in charge of the situation. I got a little concerned when he shot me, and took me hostage, but I just remembered my training, and took another deep breath.
M: Incredible... And from a pregnant mother no less.
H: Yes. When I was lying on the floor bleeding, I could almost hear my unborn child calling on me to protect him by taking more deep breaths, and staying calm.
M: Unbelievable. Now, when did you get the idea to call 911?
H: Well, I remembered from my crisis training that calling 911 causes a SWAT team to be magically teleported into the room, heal all wounds, and revive the dead, so I knew I had to do it. Apparently, though some mix-up, they weren't able to do any of those things.
M: How terrible. Now, that you're out of that life threatening situation, how do you feel when returning to work?
H: Much safer. You see, they've installed a camera at the door, and a no trespassing sign.
M: Uh... I... see...
H: Yeah, I just wish that we had that before this incident happened. Then he would have thought twice about shooting people with the intention of giving himself up to make a political statement! Because then we'd have his picture seconds before he began!
M: *looks around nervously* Erm... So what are you up to now???
H: Well, I've taken measures to protect my family from this kind of violence.
M: How empowered of you; you've picked up a gun?
H: What?! NO! Guns cause violence; I read it in a book!
M: Oh! My apologies. You've hired a security firm for your family?
H: Don't be ridiculous!
M: Um, you've put 911 on "memory 1" to save the time of dialing one digit?
H: I already had done that, but my cell phone didn't get any reception there.
M: You'll have to forgive me, I'm not sure of other ways to protect your family from this kind of violence... Some kind of voodoo protection spell?
H: Now you're just being silly. It's really obvious when you think about it.
M: Forgive me.
H: It's fine; now, what did this man use to inflict so much violence?
M: Ah! A gun! You've bought a number of bullet proof (resistant!!!) vests!
H: No! How did he GET the gun?
M: Ah! He got it legally! You wish for stronger gun control laws!
H: Now, you've got it! If he couldn't legally get that gun, this never would have happened!
M: Brilliant. Now, what would you do if he had gotten the gun illegally?
H: I'd be fighting for a ban on illegal gun purchases.
M: ... To make them illegal?
H: Yes. Now, you should know that I'm not stopping there! I'm fighting for a law that says that if you plan to shoot someone, you are legally required, by law, to call the police on yourself.
M: ... But-- It's already illegal to shoot people.
H: Yes, but this would make sure the police know about it.
M: But, what he did is against the law; he violated the law.
H: Yes, but it would be illegal for him to not call the police. He'd have to do it!
M: Erm... *ahem* So!.. er... no talk about getting any kind of security at your workplace?
H: Don't be silly! Who would shoot up a Jewish Center?
M: *stunned silence*... Naveed Afzal Haq?
H: Allegedly!
M: *stunned silence* Yes... of course... So, how do you think this experience would have been different if an ex-military coworker was legally carrying a gun at the time of the shooting?
H: Well! I think the answer is obvious! We'd all be dead! Everyone knows guns can only be used to kill people, so a coworker would have no reason to bring a gun, except to go on a shooting spree!
M: What if she was carrying it to protect her office and herself from others like Haq?
H: First, I resent the idea of you implying that a crazed gun-owning coworker would be a woman. But, what are the chances something like what happened would happen???
M: So, what would your course of action be if the gunman used a knife instead?
H: Ban knives.
M: A hammer?
H: Ban Hammers.
M: A brick?
H: Ban bricks.
M: ...A... uh... kicking?
H: Ban fee-- Ah! Almost got me; ban shoes.
M: *I open my mouth but no words come out*
H: ... I couldn't help but notice... You're wearing shoes...
M: Well, that's all the time we have for today! I'll let you have the final word.
H: Remember people; just because it happened to me doesn't mean it'll happen to you.
M: *nodding slowly* ... what are you basing that on?
H: Cognitive dissonance.
M: Terrific!
FIN
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