holy hell!

Coworker: *ring* Hey (my name), I've got... uh... (female name) from the Secret Service for you...

brain instantly pegs at 100% usage, then stops abruptly.

Me: Oh-ho-ho! You got me good. Man! Haha! Tell her I'll be right with her while I run out to my car!

Coworker: No, seriously. She's on the phone right now...

brain instantly pegs at 100% usage

Coworker: Do I need to call you a lawyer?

racking brain over everything I've done in the last few months

Me: Uh... Can you ask what it's regarding?

Coworker: Yeah, sure man. *click*

Gah! I can't remember anything! WTF RELAX, you're not shady anymore! OMGOMGOMGOMG Should I start /usr/bin/shredding?! WTFWTFWTF I'm fine! I haven't done anything that bad! I haven't done anything I can't defend against-- *ring*

Me: Yeah?

Coworker: She's calling about the (acronym) meeting.

*deep exhale*

Me: Ok, thanks, put her through.

Coworker: You cool?

Me: Yeah, it's fine, put her through.

I'm a member of a task force run by the secret service and DHS that covers cyber crime (I'm refraining from using names and actual acronyms for obvious reasons, if you're familiar with the group, please don't post it's name or guess at it.), turns out they messed something up and had to call all the members.