There was a slight pause, and then the room thundered, and filled with a shimmering light. A sudden silence fell, and the man's eyes grew wide. Through the blinding light you could see knowledge fill the man's eyes, and sense his grasp of reality strengthen. In a flash, all old thoughts were revisited with new clarity, soundly defeated, and expunged from his mind. He closed his eyes, and reopened them to a new world full of sublime perceptibility. He was enlightened. Though, sadly, as this new level of cognizance spread to the corners of his consciousness, his brain gave way, weak from years of liberalism and cognitive dissonance, reducing him to a vegetative state, and simultaneously increasing his IQ.
Did I mention I love going through the archives?