Monday, July 30, 2007

Enough is enough.

I've dispatched my ninjas to track down my Muse.

There is no escape.

Friday, July 27, 2007

Reality check.

Looks like some folks are making the right decision after this insanity.

Thursday, July 26, 2007

More Mexican imports

JR has a post up on yet another thing illegal aliens are bringing with them; kidnapping for ransom.

Certainly the whole kidnap/ransom thing isn't specific to Mexico, but this particular type is. Most kidnappings in America target wealthy individuals who will be able to pay tens or hundreds of thousands of dollars for the safe return of family members, Mexican kidnappers do things differently. Instead of targeting wealthy or powerful targets, they just pick up whomever they can, wherever they can, and quickly demand a few thousand dollars from the family members of the victim. This is called "express kidnappings" and seem like they're working their way north of the border.

If we keep letting our politicians do or not do as they please, and fail to let our voices be heard, we may be explaining to our children how we used to be able to drive to the market for a gallon of milk without fear of being randomly picked up to be ransomed, and tortured or killed.

"You mean you didn't even have to bring a GPS locator with you, Grandpa?"
"That's right, son. Sometimes we would even go to a park and eat lunch or watch the clouds."

holy hell!

Coworker: *ring* Hey (my name), I've got... uh... (female name) from the Secret Service for you...

brain instantly pegs at 100% usage, then stops abruptly.

Me: Oh-ho-ho! You got me good. Man! Haha! Tell her I'll be right with her while I run out to my car!

Coworker: No, seriously. She's on the phone right now...

brain instantly pegs at 100% usage

Coworker: Do I need to call you a lawyer?

racking brain over everything I've done in the last few months

Me: Uh... Can you ask what it's regarding?

Coworker: Yeah, sure man. *click*

Gah! I can't remember anything! WTF RELAX, you're not shady anymore! OMGOMGOMGOMG Should I start /usr/bin/shredding?! WTFWTFWTF I'm fine! I haven't done anything that bad! I haven't done anything I can't defend against-- *ring*

Me: Yeah?

Coworker: She's calling about the (acronym) meeting.

*deep exhale*

Me: Ok, thanks, put her through.

Coworker: You cool?

Me: Yeah, it's fine, put her through.

I'm a member of a task force run by the secret service and DHS that covers cyber crime (I'm refraining from using names and actual acronyms for obvious reasons, if you're familiar with the group, please don't post it's name or guess at it.), turns out they messed something up and had to call all the members.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Dear Senator Boxer,

RE: Spyware bill

Software that installs itself on peoples' computers is illegal, which is why pseudo-spyware companies offer misleading or confusing acceptance messages that cause the user to approve the download and installation of the spyware. This is legal.

The unapproved or forced installation of software on a user's computer is accomplished via software exploits coupled with malicious software forming viruses and computer worms. These types of software are already illegal to make and use.

There are semi-legitimate companies who perform the illegal type of spyware installs, but these companies are well aware of the illegality and have already sought hosting out of the country where they are not required to abide by any laws you may pass.

I understand you're trying to appear tough on "cyber crime" and identity theft, but seek professional input before you decide to attach your name to one of these feel-good, do-nothing types of legislation that accomplish little more than wasting the tax dollars you harvest from us.

Perhaps your time is better spent on the closing emergency rooms, our failure of an education system, crime rates, increasing strength and ferocity of gangs, the devaluation of education, prisons reaching their bursting point, welfare fraud and abuse, the evacuation of businesses, overspending associated with unions, and the rash of dishonesty in many elected officials.

Please prioritize. We're not ignorant; we know the important issues, and if you spend time on them, we will appreciate you for it.


No history of violence

Home invasion suspects had long rap sheets

Two men with long rap sheets were on parole when they broke into a doctor’s home, strangled his wife and killed the couple’s two daughters in a fire they set to cover their tracks, authorities said Tuesday.

State officials are re-examining their policies after learning two convicted burglars out on parole
"But three people died," Farr said. "We’re not going to say, 'Those things happen.' We've got to see if there is anything we can do that would reduce the likelihood of this happening in the future."

Nothing is going to change, and here's why;
But Robert Farr, chairman of the Connecticut Board of Pardons and Parole, said the task would be difficult because neither suspect had a history of violent crimes. "That’s why this is sort of shocking — because it doesn’t fit a normal mode," Farr said.

"Shocking"? If my pet rabbit stood on its hind legs and said "What's up doc?" I would find that shocking. But a career criminal feeling emboldened by slaps on the wrist, and graduating to more vicious and violent crime? That's not called "shocking", that's called a natural progression which has been acknowledged and documented in countless cases. " doesn't fit a normal mode" which is code for, "most of the career criminals we let back into society before they serve their time don't murder people, so it's OK." Besides, if they were to do something radical like *gasp* make criminals serve the time they've been sentenced, then the jails would be too full! Surely we'd rather risk a few people murdered than cut spending to fund more jails.

Surely I exaggerate; they can't be that lenient!
In Connecticut, prisoners may be released from confinement and receive parole after serving more than half of their sentences.

Well... It's either that or cut spending, right? Wouldn't want to miss out on the 316+ great government-sponsored services, agencies, and departments like The department of aging, The Inter-racial Commission, Milk Administrator, Wilderness School, Business Regulation, and who could forget the all-important Shell-Fish Commission. Yes, Connecticut has much better things to do with your tax dollars than to incarcerate career criminals.

Connecticut is actually very moderate with pork and useless commissions, so if you're laughing at Connecticut, you should check out what YOUR state is spending your tax dollars on. I'm afraid to look at how my home state chooses to spend the money it takes from me.

The attack stunned Cheshire, an upper-middle class community of 29,000

Reality hurts. Especially when someone hits you in the face with it when you're not expecting it. I wonder if any other members of this upper-middle class community who shunned firearms in favor of a cell phone with 911 on memory 1 (to save the time of dialing one digit), are reconsidering the notion that the police will protect them no matter how much evidence there is to the contrary.

I can't imagine what this poor man must be going through. These guys will be eligible for the death penalty for murdering someone under the age of 16 (CGS § 53a-54b), the youngest daughter being 11. That is; unless they determine her death to be accidental or unintentional since it was caused by smoke inhalation, and these poor, misguided career criminals who don't have the history of violence that would have kept them from getting parole, were just panicked and afraid. Even if they do make it to death row, they're more likely to die of old age since only one person has been executed in Connecticut since 1976.

Here's the million dollar question; how long does stuff like this have to happen until decision makers get the point? How many people have to die "because it doesn’t fit a normal mode"? How many of these "isolated incidents" have to occur until the people start to realize that those in charge aren't doing their jobs to protect them? How long will we continue to accept the lies and absolution of guilt? How many more times will we hear; isolated incident, freak occurance, unexpected outcome, "doesn't fit the normal mode" before we start mentally replacing those words with "We failed to prepare for this." and start holding people accountable.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Unable to apprehend the confusion of ideas you exhibit.

"On two occasions, I have been asked [by members of Parliament], 'Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine [early calculator] wrong figures, will the right answers come out?' I am not able to rightly apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question."
-- Charles Babbage (1791-1871)

I think a modern interpretation of that last line lies somewhere near;
"You're a retard."

So... Uh... How about that terrorism thing?

Seems the FBI has spent some time investigating this horrible offender. This man stands accused of *gasp* betting on a game he refereed.

Clearly some branches of the FBI have nothing better to do than go after crooked gamblers.

Everything else is going smoothly; why don't you guys just take the rest of the week off.


I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone, there will be nothing. Only I will remain.
--Frank Herbert

Monday, July 23, 2007

Good night, sweet prince...

Ha, HAAA! Last laugh!


Yeah... It has some scary moments. and by scary, I mean it actually scares you, not that it startles you over and over


Saturday, July 21, 2007

it's going to be one of THOSE on call weekends.

HI! This is douchebag at douchebaggy phone answering service where we get an e-mail and call a phone number! I've got this alert!
Oh, ok, that means it's going to set off a few alerts. There should be more from that hostname, those are ok not to call me on.
HI! This is douchebag at douchebaggy phone answering servic--
Yes! You already said that. *click*

30 minutes of sleep later

HI! This is douchebag at douchebaggy phone answering service where we get an e-mail and call a phone number! I've got this alert!
*grumble* I said on our last call that you don't have to call me on alerts from that hostname...
...please don't repeat yourself...
HI! This is -- huh?
What's the hostname on the ticket?
The ticket says; (reads me 10 out of 50 lines of useless data before I hang up on him)

30 minutes of sleep later

HI! This is douchebag at douchebaggy--
In the e-mail, about half way down, there is a line that says "HOSTNAME" and on that same line, it says the actual hostname! If you get any more alerts from this hostname in the next 6 hours, IGNORE THEM. DO NOT CALL ME.
Gotcha chief! (or other douchebaggy response)


But it's not "xyz".
WHAT?! Oh! Gee. I'm sorry. I'm sorry about that, it's just been a tough night.
It's OK.
Alright. Sorry again; what's the hostname?
It's 9000 milliseconds.
... (be cool, you just snapped at him) That's the alert. Further down on the e-mail, there is a line that says "hostname" then some periods then the hostname. What does it say after the periods?
... [urge to kill rising...]
... [loading mags]
... ... ...yyyyyesssss?
Is that the thing you told me earlier?
... ... yyyyyeeessss.....
The thing I'm not supposed to call you on?
... yyyeeessss...
Oh. My bad. *click*
be cool... just relax... he finally gets it... you can sleep


HI! This is ---- Oh... Never mind.
Ssssaaaayyyy... you're doing such an awesome job, I want to buy you a pizza. What's your address?
Aw man! I'd like to, but we're not really allowed to give that out.
...What was that?

Ok, so maybe that last part didn't actually happen, but I sure wouldn't have minded his address so I could go find him in the wee hours of the morning, and yell at him until he cried.

Friday, July 20, 2007

Hell. Yes.

From Xavier

This is the kind of stuff we need to pursue under the guise of our opponents. We'll yell and scream (with a straight face) that suicide bomber free zones will keep our children safer, and protect everyone from everything. Then when they argue, we'll let them prove our point.

Maybe I need to start a petition...

GOTO statements


Prepare for pants shitting terror

For the estimated two hours that Bush will be under anesthesia, Darth Cheney will be in control of the country.

Yes, we know how much you hate Dick Cheney, and that he's the devil, and sacrifices baby souls on an altar of broken dreams filled with the tears of orphans, and tomorrow he will be in charge of the country.

Be prepared to run around like chicken littles with your heads cut off in the throws of pants shitting terror. THE SKY IS FALLING THE SKY IS FALLING THE SKY IS FALLING!


Well... Do you?

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

I work at pepboys

Whoops nvm, my car's done...

I'm clever.

Ever look through an old piece of code you wrote a long time ago and say Ahhh... I don't see what you did there... then after you stare at what you did for a few minutes, you realize what you did, and think that it was clever?

If you teach yourself something is that like a time paradox or something?

I hope I didn't just invert time...emit trevni tsuj t'nbib I eqoh I

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Don't give them what they want.

Chris over at AnarchAngel has a great post entitled Don't give them what they want that is required reading for anyone who mentally prepares themselves for violent or dangerous situations.

The title is a play on the solution offered by those who would take away your equalizer for when you are confronted with a violent criminal. When confronted by a violent criminal, simply give them what they want. Sadly, this has become the mantra of those who would deny you your right to protect yourself, and those who enforce the laws that might keep you from protecting yourself.

What they don't tell you, is that this course of (in)action can (and in the case of violent criminals, likely will) get you killed.

While some think any threat of violence should be met with a volley of gunfire, I'm not of that opinion. If I were in a situation where I was armed and my life was being threatened by someone, and knew everything about a situation, I might be inclined to shoot first. But since I can't imagine any situation where I might know everything about everything, and be positive of the outcome of a possible action, I'll be happy to comply with a non-violent criminal who is not an (actual) immediate threat to myself, my loved ones, or those around me.

I have no desire to shoot anyone.

I don't want to have to put myself through the physical, mental, emotional, financial, and moral stress of doing so. I'd much rather have to call the bank, and the credit card company and inform them that my cards have been stolen.

This does, however, put me in the awkward position of correctly reading a situation, and the intent of the confronting criminal. In Chris' post, I find 7 warning signs that the criminal you're dealing with is someone who's likely to do more than take your wallet and run. The warning signs indicate the criminal is likely to do great bodily harm to you or those around you.

It's difficult for most people to deal with dangerous situations because most haven't thought about having to deal with them. Most default to fear and compliance as in nature the very basic law exists that if something is stronger than you, you don't challenge it. Coupled with the constant social barrage of falsehoods like "If you give them what they want, they'll leave you alone" it's easy to convince yourself that you're better off just hiding under your desk, or playing dead and praying that Cho doesn't notice that you're not lying in a pool of your own blood.

I'm not asking that you reconfigure your life, and change the way you think (yet) because these things have to happen in small steps, and the step of becoming responsible for the safety of yourself and your loved ones is not an easy one to take.

I only ask that you remember these 7 warning signs, and if you ever see them, have no illusions about your safety.

Monday, July 16, 2007

Quick reminder

Before you stand on your soapbox and shout that someone is a dictator, remember this; when you speak ill of a dictator, you only get to do it once.

If you're claiming someone is a dictator, and you're still around, just stop and think about that.


I submit for your approval;

a shrimp


On a treadmill.

A maaaagical leopluradon!!

Update: SR just yelled "DUPE!!!" and kicked me in the balls.

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Hows about some musics?

Since my muse is still MIA, why don't I just post some of my favorite songs from some of my favorite artists?


Ok, since there are no objections, here we go!

please note that you're only watching the video for the music, because some of the videos are pretty damn unrelated to the music

David's back!

After a short delay, the War On Guns is back in action!

I really missed this blog while it was out!

Dow sets ANOTHER record high!

I blame Bush.

Monday, July 09, 2007

My muse

If any of you spot my muse, tell her that I want her back, and that I didn't mean what I said.

Tuesday, July 03, 2007


UPDATE: Fixed...

It reminds me too much of Thief for me not to like it.

I love this.


It Doesn't Work, So We Have to do It Harder!

James has a good post up with lots of good links to get your blood pressure up.

So, the law is ineffective? No matter, we just need to pass MORE ineffective laws! It'll work, despite all the evidence to the contrary, we promise.

It's like watching a monkey trying to break down a brick wall with his head.
What if I hit it HARDER?

Monday, July 02, 2007

Note to the kids

Shamelessly stolen from Blogi

A quick look at their site indicates that this campaign is pro youth voting. This is surprising to me only because their ad does such a great job pointing out WHY the youth aren't voting. I'm sure it was intended to ignite the fire of youthful rebellion and make those apathetic kids realize that voting is really important.

Honestly, it's more likely the "independent-minded" 20-somethings will experience a short pang of regret at not voting, which will shortly be replaced with the next shiny thing they notice.

So, while the producers of this video might not feel the same way...
Truly; Thank you for not voting.
I feel almost like starting a campaign to discourage people from voting by citing BS about diebold, recounts, fixed election, vast right-wing conspiracies, etc. just to try and stop the voters who could be stopped by such tripe.

If you don't see the value in voting; then, by all means, don't vote.
If you can't be bothered to participate in the direction of your country; then, by all means, don't vote.
If you think voting is controlled by the (dastardly) Republican-owned Diebold, and your non-conformist vote wouldn't be counted; then, by all means, don't vote.
If you think that they're all the same bunch of rich elitists, who's principals are up for bid to the special interest with the most money; then, by all means, don't vote.
If you think that both parties are destroying America, and a vote for one is the same as a vote for the other; then, by all means, vote libertarian. :]

Vote your conscience. Not because someone told you to be afraid of the other guy.

Coding coding coding

coding coding coding coding coding coding coding coding coding coding coding coding coding coding coding coding coding coding coding coding coding coding coding coding coding coding coding coding coding coding coding coding coding coding coding coding coding coding coding coding


coding coding coding coding coding coding coding coding coding coding coding coding coding coding coding coding coding coding coding coding coding coding coding coding coding coding coding coding coding coding coding coding coding coding coding coding coding coding coding coding


I see light at the end of the tunnel! I can't stop now!!!

Sunday, July 01, 2007


Taste regular expressions; fiend!

=~/JOB ID:[^{]+{([^}]+)}\s\(/;


Oh geez...

I wrote a quick script to makes sure File::Compare was working on the activeperl on the windows server I was testing. It printed They're equal if the files were equal and They're NOT if they were not. Then the "NOT" was bothering me, so I changed it to "D:<" Then I got side-tracked, and came back to the file comparison test.

C:\temp>echo OMGWTFBBQ > wtf

C:\temp>echo OMGWTFBBQ > omg

Missing right curly or square bracket at C:\temp\ line 9, at end of line
syntax error at C:\temp\ line 9, at EOF
Execution of C:\temp\ aborted due to compilation errors.


Undefined subroutine &main::compare called at C:\temp\ line 6.


They're equal

C:\temp>echo PINEAPPLES > wtf


At this point I shot lemonade out of my nose. Now I'm glad I didn't spike it.

Yeah... I'm weird.